The Nostalgia Vote?
The We Don't Know What Else To Do or Where Else to Turn Vote?
The Let's Set the Record for Shooting Ourselves in the Foot Vote?
City hall has gone to the fights.
Read the story for yourself. It's just too, too silly to repeat here.
It is noteworthy however for the quotes and they are great.
This is the best of the lot.
“I agree” Jang chimed in, “I'm actually having a lot more fun then I thought I would.”
That would be psychiatrist and city councillor Kerry Jang.
As we know, psychiatrists don't get out very much or have a lot of fun.
Apparently, this summer, Kerry will be trying the Tilt-a-Whirl at the PNE.
Then, he will ask his mommy if he can catch the pig races.
Huh?
When I left to make my dinner, Saskatchewan had the game in hand 27-11 with a few minutes on the clock.
That's fine, I figured. I'll be back with my dinner on time to catch the second half of the Steelers-Ravens slugfest and watch the good green prairie folk celebrating.
Instead, I see the Mounties delivering the Cup to a platform on which are standing a host of beaming Montreal players.
In time, I saw what happened.
Yikes!
Of course, they deserved to win.
They put the points on the board and they won. Boo effing hoo.
Chuck Noll, the legendary coach of the Steelers way back when said it best. Something like, "Football is a marvelously simple thing. There's a winner and a loser. Guy who gets more points on the board wins. Life is much more complicated. That's why we love football."
Saturday night dangerous for Vancouver pedestrians
Yah? Well, don't forget Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
Seven pedestrians were struck by vehicles yesterday.
I'm surprised it wasn't 70.
As all good ghost stories begin, "It was a dark and rainy night..."
Hey, kids, it's been a dark and rainy night every night for the past two months.
Everybody, including me, is in our winter blacks. We are basically invisible.
Which makes it really disconcerting that idiots are crossing in the middle of streets all over the place.
And of course people are relentlessly speeding. Racing. And that's just in the Safeway parking lot.
Flying through crosswalks and past school zones.
Seven?
Consider us lucky.
Sometimes you get the feeling that politicians and bureaucrats just make up thoughtless harmful things to do just because...well, say, just because it's Tuesday.
Or for the same reason that dogs lick themselves - because they can.
The latest folly is this:
The Vancouver Park Board, under pressure by City Council to economize, has passed by a narrow 4-3 vote the stupid, stupid, stupid decision to close the Children's Farmyard at Stanley Park and the Bloedel Conservatory atop Queen Elizabeth Park.
They haven't figured out what to do with the plants and animals.
Perhaps they could just send themselves out to pasture and leave a few of Vancouver's best loved small treasures in peace.
Aside from being a stupid decision - Did I mention that this decision is stupid, stupid, stupid? - it is a lazy one.
Instead of carefully going over expenditures and trimming a shard of fat here and there and spreading the bad times out among all the Park Board assets, they have simply said, "What can we kill quickly to get over this unpleasant task?"
You lazy, thoughtless bums.
The Bloedel Conservatory is one of my favorite places in Vancouver.
It is exotic and delightful and fun.
So it needs some roof repairs...so come on, repair the roof!
Find new and innovative partnerships and new and innovative marketing to generate more income.
Ditto the Kids' Farmyard.
Let me promise you this, Dear Park Board Lazy People.
If you do not reverse this decision, I will not vote for one of you in the next election.
May thousands join me in this commitment.
Send your email to: pbcomment@vancouver.ca
I have sent this to the above address.
The foto, by the way, is of the Board Chair, who, when he voted, didn't even know that Bloedel is a designated heritage sight.
Dubai was always an obscenity.
With all the oil money in the world available and thrown at it, Dubai was a kind of desert Disneyland, able to construct miles and miles of garish hotels and homes and air-conditioned shopping malls and golf courses and tennis courts.
Federer and Woods and Agassiz and Beckham and anyone else with more cash than they know what to do with rushed in to buy, buy, buy.
Why?
What the hell would you do in Dubai?
Gamble? Drink? Play golf? Screw prostitutes?
O.K. I admit it. I'm a hick. I don't get it because I've never been there.
Of course, I've never wanted to be there. Or Las Vegas. Or many places.
I've been to Whistler half a dozen times and I've always enjoyed myself swimming in the hotel pools and riding my bike and eating good food and playing tennis.
But I can't imagine spending a lot of time there or wanting a house there. Too man made. Too instant community. Too gingerbread.
Anyway...
Dubai.
Now, Dubai has close to $60 Billion in debt and it is threatening to flinch on it payments.
It would be fun to giggle and cheer.
But we cannot because the failure of Dubai and all it excrescent excesses now threatens to bring down the entire world with it.
The Globe's cover story in the business section is appropriately titled:
Can you imagine anything more ludicrous and frightening than the thought of a border guard deciding what kind of speech you are entitled to give?
This, of course, is exactly what happened to American Journalist Amy Goodman the other day on her way to deliver talks in Victoria and Vancouver.
She was detained for over 90 minutes and her car, her notes and her computer were all searched.
The Border Holy Grail?
The Olympics, of course.
Not in the least concerned that Goodman might be here to blow up the Marine Building (She wasn't.) the zealous overseers of our mental health were obsessed with concern that Goodman might say anything negative in public about the 2010 Games.
Here's my worry.
When I attempt to board that flight in early February for Italy, will some uniformed geek ask me why I am leaving Our Town, dare I say, "Because I don't want to be around during the Games?"
Will Geek then say, "Sorry, you MUST stay here and enjoy and cheer and buy red mitties and other useless consumer goods that are only licensed to the few."
The IOC and VANOC, as we have said far too many times in this space already, have proven to be the worst kind of thugs, running wholesale over citizens' rights and freedoms all in the name of some vague international ideal that is denied by their very behaviour.
Tiger Woods is to sport what Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are to business.
He is also the most carefully guarded and private rich famous man on earth.
Big news therefore when Woods takes off in his SUV at 2:30 in the morning and crashes quickly into a fire hydrant and a tree.
The story broke just before noon and both CNN and BBC News gave it non-stop coverage, BBC oddly enough doing a much more thorough and credible job.
Soon, the "Tiger in hospital in serious condition" report was changed to "Tiger has been released from hospital," for which we can all be thankful. No one I know wishes the man any particular ill will.
Now the questions remain and abound - What the devil was he doing dashing off at 2:30 in the morning?
TMZ, the gossip website, has already conjectured that Woods and his wife, Elin Nordegren , were having a marital spat about possible outside liaisons.
Who knows?
The Woods publicity machine will no doubt offer an agreed spin within the coming days.
I know of no marriage that manages to avoid completely a speed bump or two.
If you're the most famous and richest athlete in the world (Woods is already a Billion Dollar Man.), anything you do will be photographed and written about.
Woods is an amazing performer and a joy to watch.
Let's hope that whatever private or public taste of hell this may be, that he and his family may move on in some positive way.
David Mulroney has testified only that there was no direct and specific evidence of torture.
He could not answer that he was certain that none were tortured.
In fact, all that he and others trying to repute the testimony last week of Richard Colvin could offer was that this was an honorable war and that times and conditions were tough and we love our soldiers.
O.K.
All agreed.
But what's that got to do with the issue.
Do we or do we not hand over detainees knowing full well that they will be tortured?
Do we agree to and or condone torture under certain circumstances?
And if we do, what are those conditions and when do we give the green light and how?
I agree with the succinct Globe editorial of this morning.
"The Conservatives' preference for attacking the whistleblowers and deferring to military heroism rather than dealing with the actual charges is deplorable but not surprising.
Beyond what was known, and sat on, in 2006 and 2007, the core question remains: Were people detained by Canadians subsequently tortured by Afghan authorities? Canadians need to know."
Somebody has to speak to the Boys at 12th & Cambie.
We can forgive them, as we know they are on a steep learning curve.
Even their moms didn't tell them that we can only understand what you say, not what arcane intentions you may secretly harbour.
In re-wording that nutty offensive bylaw that would allow Stasi/Gestapo tactics, including the invasion of your home if you burped during an Olympic moment, Pretty Boy Floyd, a.k.a. Hizz Honor, said, ""Our commitment has always been the protection of people's Charter Rights and Freedoms."
Always? Really?
Geoff Meggs is one of the few Vision councillors who is allowed by the Puppet Masters to speak in public.
His take on this about face was cute.
"Staff have tried to reflect long-standing concerns in the community over rights to expression and free speech during the Olympics," said Councillor Geoff Meggs, who previously charged that worries over the July bylaw were overblown. "I never had any qualms this council would tolerate any violations of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms."
Good, Geoff.
Now, let's get to the brass tacks.
Ellen Woodsworth, one of only two council members to vote against the controversial bylaw in July, also welcomed the shift. "I am glad to see we have these changes, although they only came about because of public outcry. All the questions we had have been validated."
And Woodsworth is right.
This wording of this bylaw was amended because of the B.C. Civil Liberties Association and the media and nut bars like me who like to keep tabs on these little constant gnawing threats to democracy by The Smiling Clowns Class.
My favorite politician in the whole world is Silvio Berlusconi, the Prime Minister of Italy.
Three times over.
In spite of being indicted at least six times on various charges of corruption.
Never, of course, convicted.
He is the second richest man in Italy, with an estimated net worth of $6.8 Billion.
He controls all the media in Italy.
His current and second wife is now suing and asking for a modest settlement - $68 Million a year.
All of that is interesting in the same way that any celebdrek can be called interesting.
But here's the grabber.
I love this.
I didn't know it until today, and, as I often say in this space, you cannot write material this good.
Berlusconi is famously infatuated with young women,
Here is the bit:
Mara Carfagna, one of Silvio's faves, was once a topless model.
He appointed her to the government as...wait for it...
Minister of Equal Opportunities.
I have one simple question about Richard Colvin's testimony to Parliament about torture in Afghanistan.
Why?
If he is lying or making this all up, what is his game?
Money? Self-aggrandizement? Amusement?
Sorry, folks.
I believe there is something substantial to Colvin's accusations and that we ought to know more.
"Canada needs to dismantle its public health care system and allow private enterprise to get involved and turn a profit."
Guess who?
Sarah Palin.
Turns out this woman is both stupid and dangerous.
Local TV Matters?
This is what Global, CTV, CBC and others have been yelling at us for several weeks now in full page ads across the nation.
Well, kids, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Today, CBC Newsworld, or whatever they're calling themselves these days, offered complete and extensive coverage on the Ottawa hearings into allegations of Canadian soldiers knowingly handing over prsioners to be tortured by the Afghan army.
And in the same time slot, CTV, Global and City?
American eye-candy crap, as always.
Get real.
Dr. Phil is local TV?
Is watchable?
How's this for a list of charges?
Seven years for defending the rights of gays and lesbians.
Three years for being aware of homosexuality in your neighbourhood and failing to report it within 24 hours.
And the prize goes to...
Life imprisonment on anyone who “penetrates the anus or mouth of another person of the same sex with his penis or any other sexual contraption.” The same penalty would apply if he or she even “touches another person with the intention of committing the act of homosexuality.”
I had no idea our penises fell into the category of "sexual contraption," but so be it.
Of course, you can't make up stuff like this. A hundred comedy writers trapped in a room off Sunset Boulevard with Sprite and nachos for three weeks couldn't top this.
It comes from the government of Uganda.
That's the smiling face of the Ugandan President, Yoweri Museveni, one of the acknowledged great leaders of the modern world. But we just call him, "Yow!"
In contrast to all of that...
Let's instead cheer a man for whom we have had little use over the years.
This is what can happen when you don't really know someone and leap to conclusions based on public persona and media coverage and water cooler b.s.
I plead guilty in my previous assessment of Brian Burke, the hockey man.
Yesterday a good old friend sent me a powerful and moving article, written by John Buccigross for ESPN.
The story details how Burke's son, Brendan, has dealt with being gay. The young man is, like his dad, completely involved with the world of hockey. The story tells how he came out to various family members and then recently to his dad.
And how beautifully his dad reacted. And how honorably he has conducted himself since.
Turns out, Brian Burke is a mensch, a real mensch.
It is unlikely that the Burkes will be vacationing or playing hockey in Uganda soon.
That's Brendan Burke with the You Know What after the Ducks won it all in 2007.
Richard Colvin sent some of his reports about the torture of prisoners in Afghanistan to Canada's Minister of Foreign Affairs.
This is the latest little bombshell in the continuing little melodrama of lies, innuendo, denials and intimidation coming from an inquiry in Ottawa these days.
So many questions to be asked.
Not the least of which is why is the Prime Minister jumping into the fray?
“We also know that a large number of his colleagues did not agree with those opinions,” Mr. Harper told the Commons Tuesday.
Stephen, baby. Shhhh...
We thinks the Preem doth protesteth too much.
The Globe editorial - in a Passover frame of mind - asks four questions. Read them here and ponder the curiosities getting curiouser and curiouser...
To paraphrase...
"It little profits a man to sell his soul for the world, but for...ski jumping?"
Yet this is exactly what we are doing.
No sooner do we raise the flag and flame with the excitement of having The Games here in a great Western democracy, then we abandon all principles and become a Fascism of the Happy Face.
The culprits are VANOC and the IOC. The victim is Free Speech.
Listen to the language:
"The artist shall at all times refrain from making any negative or derogatory remarks respecting VANOC, the 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Games, the Olympic movement generally, Bell and/or other sponsors associated with VANOC."
Nice.
Keep those nasty noisy artists quiet, we're luging here, folks.
Why have The Games, if the price is reducing the social order to Orwellian sheep?
Salt Lake City and Melbourne had no such restrictions.
What is it about Vancouver that makes it so hyper-sensitive?
