Dam Premier

For some time now, I have been calling Gordon Campbell the "Monumental Premier."

Not only has he proven me right, but now he has become a kind of parody or caricature of himself.

When I see him posed before one mega-project after another, I find myself thinking of that Southern-Fried Senatorial cartoon chicken, Foghorn Leghorn.

"Boy - I say, Boy - can you not see the glory of this design?"

So yesterday, in a flight of complete irresponsibility, Foghorn...uh, I mean Campbell, flies 120 folks in five jets up to some obscure landing strip in the North Country to announce his GREAT LEGACY - the site C Dam Project.

Or, if you're an environmentalist, the Site C Damn Project.

He schleps WAC Bennett's grandson along for the haul, just in case any one missed the GREAT HISTORICAL context of this MONUMENTAL ANNOUNCEMENT.

He could have shone a foto image of the reservoir on the legislature walls behind him while he made the announcement for a buck and a quarter, but now it's out with the Lear jets.

Now, I can't rightly comment on whether or not this project is good policy.

But what I can say confidently is this:

The Monumental Premier is all about BIG.

He has consistently over many years now shown no interest in small things and in "the little people."

And that's a crying shame.

To be more exact, that's his shame.

Because both God and the devil are in the details - the little things, which Foghorn sublimely ignores.

And the teachers and nurses and children and grandparents and Mom & Pop shop owners are the heart of this province.

It is his shame - and it will be his legacy - that he gave such scant attention to the region's beating heart.

Animal Farm

Let's see if I understand this.

The BC government is going to add to our tax woes by hitting us over the head soon with the so-called Harmonized (mmmmmmm...) Sales Tax.

But that's not enough of a punishment.

Now Colin Hansen has decided to spend our tax money on a government mail-out to every blessed household in the realm to explain how wonderful the HST is and how evil the NDP is for saying otherwise.

First they tax us and then they spend our money to tell us that taxing us is good.

Where is George Orwell when you really need him.

Quote of the Day

"It tarnishes the community. It tarnishes the South Asian people and it tarnishes the city. And it’s unacceptable.”

That's Surrey Mayor, Dianne Watts, the best Mayor and possibly the best politician in Canada right now, speaking about the famous Sikh parade.

Madame Mayor rocks.

ASH MONDAY

The numbers are a big part of the story.

63,000.

That's the number of flights cancelled in or into or out of Europe since Thursday.

3

That's the one day percentage drop in airline shares on Friday.

$1 Billion

That's the estimated loss in airline revenue.

Can you say, "Eyjafjallajokull Volcano, boys and girls?"

Me neither.

More importantly, this modest visit from Ma Nature is threatening the whole tender economy of the EU.

Air shipments of fresh fruit and exotic vegetables from the Mediterranean, flowers from North Africa, grain from Asia and transplant organs from across Europe have been suspended for five days, leading to shortages and some reports of panic buying.

Schools are closed, exams are postponed. Somewhere in Brussels, a girl has found Jesus because the volcano was sent to give her more time to prepare for that geography test she'd been avoiding.

Tourism has been especially hit and thousands of people are basically living in airports.

Imagine that fun.

Like visiting the lovely washrooms.

You're in Vancouver.

Sans earthquakes; sans volcanic debris.

So far.

The sun is almost out.

Count your blessings.

Victor Loves a Parade

'Victor' is a friend whose comments I post here from time to time. I especially loved the last line about "currying" favour...

When I was a kid in the 50's, there were Catholic and protestant
Parades. The Catholics, of which I am one, would have a parade
organized by the Knights of Columbus, complete with statues and
crucifixes. The Protestants would have an Orange Day parade, complete
with a King Billy on a white horse. These overtly religious parades
pissed off people in both religious camps so they were dropped around
1960.

I strongly believe that religious parades have no place in modern
Canada. That applies to Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Sikhs, Jews
etc. On that basis, I fail to see how Sikhs can tie up city blocks and
draw down vast amounts of city resources for what is essentially a
religious parade with free food. If there are to be further Vaisaki
parades, they should be licensed only on the basis that they are a
Spring celebration and must include opportunities for participation
by other groups. (Hindu, Muslim, Gay, Aboriginal, whatever). That's
how St. Patrick's Day parades work in New Your and Chicago.

If the Sikh community is unwilling to do that, their bigotry will be
exposed and politicians will no longer feel blackmailed into currying
favour with a large voting block.

I Don't Have a Friend Who's Not Been Battered

Guilty Pleasures

The first time I saw "The Talented Mr. Ripley" (1999), I was disappointed.

And that was even before I learned that the original complete title was "The Mysterious Yearning Secretive Sad Lonely Troubled Confused Loving Musical Gifted Intelligent Beautiful Tender Sensitive Haunted Passionate Talented Mr. Ripley."

But over the years, as I have seen it many, many times on TV, it has become one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Like "The Way We Were" (1973), which I actually walked out of in disgust, but now I cannot help but watch every time it appears on the box, "Ripley" falls into that large category we can call Not a Great Movie By Any Stretch, But Boy Do I Ever Enjoy Watching it.

Look at the list of Oscar winners involved in "Ripley."

Anthony Minghella, Director (The English Patient); Matt Damon (Good Will Hunting); Gwyneth Paltrow (Shakespeare in Love); Cate Blanchett (The Aviator) and Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote.)

An that's not even counting Jude Law, who as Dickie Greenleaf almost stole the movie entirely. Except, of course, for Hoffman's wonderful turn as the too-clever-for-his-own-good-by-a-half Freddie Miles.

What keeps drawing me back to this schlock?

Well, the fact that much of it is filmed in Italy doesn't hurt as I have spent a lot of time over the last 15 years there, so just seeing many of those locations and hearing the language sends me back vicariously.

The central character, Tom Ripley, makes up much of his life as he goes along, following always some curious inner script.

Without copping to murder or any other crimes, I can identify with that.

Ripley, of course, is the creation of the great writer, Patricia Highsmith, who continued Ripley's lunatic adventures in a few other novels.

"Ripley's Game" (2002), with John Malkovich as an adult and still treacherous conniver, is not nearly as good a flick, but two things make it thoroughly watchable.

The first, of course, is Malkovich, who could make reading a Wikepedia entry on practically anything watchable.

And the second is the Palladian mansion used as Ripley's house in the movie. It's worth the price of the rental just to take an inside look at one of the great designs by one of the world's greatest architects.

And speaking of Highsmith...

Last night, TCM ran the movie version of her book, "Strangers on a Train" (1951), a wonderful classic from Alfred Hitchcock.

This terrific film, includes among other great moments, Hitch getting on a train carrying a bass fiddle. Hahahaha!

Farley Granger and Robert Walker, both huge stars at the time had curiously shortened careers.

Walker, because he died at such a young age. He was an alcoholic, and a combination of medicines provided by his shrink killed him.

Granger, because, although he has continued to work sporadically in films and TV all his life, he really hated Hollywood and bolted for New York, where he enjoyed working for some years on stage.

Granger was married for a short while to Shelley Winters.

I had the pleasure of spending an hour on the telephone with Shelley Winters, broadcasting in 1983. She told me that she called him "Farfel," which is basically matzoh crushed up into little pieces for baking or for a breakfast cereal. When I was a kid, who knew from Corn Flakes? I practically lived on farfel until my obsession with kosher hot dogs kicked in.

"Strangers on a Train," by the way, is currently being re-made.

Why?

It's only perfect as is.

Our Bond is Our Word?

Goldman Sachs has been a gold-plated crook for some time now.

Yesterday it didn't have a really good day.

It lost about 12 and half BILLION dollars.

That's because the Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a civil lawsuit against the Wall Street giant.

Saying they sold a poop can designed to fail.

The only thing shocking about this revelation is how long it has taken authorities to get moving on the case.

Stand

AHOUSAT, B.C. — Twelve residents of this aboriginal community northwest of Tofino have been told they've got until Monday to get treatment for drug and alcohol problems or get out of the community.

Now that's encouraging in at least one respect.

A community has stood up and said, "These are our values. Get with the program or get lost.'

More folks need to say that.

From families to neighbourhoods to cities to provinces.

That's the good news.

The bad news is HUH?

What treatment?

Where?

Who's going to pay for this?

Just watch the Island Health Board screw up the stick handling on this one.

John Frank, chief councillor of the Ahousaht First Nation, said the original deadline was this week, but more time was given so lawyers could clarify wording on the eviction letters.

"They've got until Monday dusk," said Frank.

I love it.

DUSK.

This is like Tombstone or Gunfight at the OK Corral.

"You've got till dusk, Bart!"

DUSK.

Now, I think John Frank is right.

I just don't know where these righteous dope fiends are going to go for treatment.

I wish them the best and I wish Ahousat the best.

Ahousat is located on Flores Island, a 45-minute boat ride northwest of Tofino.

C U

Idiots texting their lives away have now another thing to worry about.

Wait for it.

It's a beaut.

Here it is.

Thumb injuries.

Yes.

Will our medical plans have to cover this?

Will specialists be born in Faculties of Medicine?

Hey there, sexy. What are you into?

Thumbs, Man. It's the going thing.

I was thinking about Texting Nation the other day as I watched people walking, sitting, eating, driving, no doubt, shtupping, and texting at the same time.

I was thinking how so many people are so easily duped into being mindless consumers.

Whatever bag of horse plop comes along, why I gotta have it.

F---, Man, I gotta have two.

It is truly pathetic to see how many millions of people cannot stop this addiction.

Hi Everyone. My name's David and I'm a Text Addict.

Hey Dave. Wait to go, Dave. Tell it like it is, Dave.

Nobody calls me Dave.

Moments from Text Anonymous.

Nobody in coffee shops reads. They socialize, work on computers, talk on cells or text, text, text.

"Text," the Broadway musical.

"Text," the ABC reality TV show.

"Text" - name of my new dog.

You should see how he indicates "W!"

By the way...

On a personal note...

Me no text.

Me no know how to text.

Me no want to text.

Me happy in ancient cave.

Warning from Within

One of India's best known and respected authors and historians says his country is not nearly ready to be considered a "world power."

‘How much inequality can a democracy sustain?'

Good question.

Read this revealing Q&A with Ramachandra Guha.

A Bridge Too Close

A 1.7 kilometre bridge, part of a 270 Million Euro highway will soon do considerable damage to the famed wine country district hot by the Mosel River in Germany.

This is part of a world wide trend, most evident in Europe in recent years, of governments barreling through more and more asphalt for more and more cars at the expense of agriculture, local business, tradition, clean air and good reason.

So the next time you see one o those photo-op international "green" conventions of "world leaders," don't believe a word of it.

Thinking - if such it can be called - has not changed a whit.

The car is still King and gasoline is the grape.

Is This One of the Great Songs, or What?

Shadow Dances

The provincial government is going after the books of the Vancouver School Board.

The Premier in one of his most disingenuous moments, declared "It’s a question of making sure we are doing everything we can to provide for kids in the classroom.”

Hahahahaha...

What a card.

The revival of vaudeville right before our eyes.

The cement Mixer turns his steely eye to helping children.

Give us a Royal Canadian Break, puleeeese.

Of course, it didn't help that the Board chair, Patti Bacchus, has been openly critical of Margaret MacDiarmid, the poor soul posing as the Minister of Education in a province that is run entirely out of the Premier's office. That's Marg, up there in the corner.

But that's not the entire story of course.

Turns out that almost every school board in the province is ailing.

Not enough money.

Old story.

And while these boards may be right and the province may in fact not be funding at the levels necessary, there is a deeper issue at stake here.

Whether or not Victoria ponies up enough loot on any given day to properly provide buildings, books, chalks, computers, playing fields and dedicated teachers to create great learning environments for BC children, a simple question remains unanswered.

Do we need School Boards?

Do we need regional Health Boards?

Are not these bodies great places for sucking up money and energy?

Could we not fund schools and hospitals directly and demand that they be responsible citizens?

Could we not audit these direct suppliers of educational and health services?

How much do these Boards cost us all?

We know for a fact that in health care, the regional boards have created a maze and snake pit of cross-regional claims on patients with mental health and addiction problems. We know that treatment - and the patient - are often lost in the bureaucratic jungle.

It is the endless and fruitless processes of covering your ass that costs us all.

Maybe some day in a place only to be dreamed of we will have a government with the courage to send these boards into the ocean so that we can get on with teaching and practicing medicine.

Small World

I've taken BA flight #85 several times in recent years.

It leaves London's Heathrow Airport - a small city complete with doctors, entertainment, hotels and traffic jams - in the early evening and, if things go as they are expected, it touches down at YVR just on time for dinner at home of the same day.

Not today however.

Not only that flight but some Scare Canada and KLM flights have been cancelled as well as BA#85 and the flight heading back to Heathrow, BA#84.

The source of all the fuss?

Well, it's Ma Nature up to her funny tricks again.

Just a small matter of that volcano exploding out from deep below a glacier in southern ICELAND!

In Europe, many flights have been grounded because the volcanic ash is clouding the skies for many hundreds of miles.

Imagine sitting on board what seems to be a "routine" flight and then hearing the captain crackle over the loudspeaker, "Sorry to interrupt this Sandra Bullock movie that I know you're enjoying. I saw it in a lay-over in Tokyo last week and I thought it was terrific too. We'll have it back up and running in just a moment. I just wanted to give you fair warning though that we've been advised by the meteorologists with whom we are in regular communication that we are about to fly through some pretty...ach... heavy volcanic ash. I know that sounds unusual and it is. But not to worry. The little bits and pieces are pretty small and by the time they get up to 39,000 feet, which is our present cruising altitude, they've kind of...gee whiz... cooled off. So just relax and enjoy your flight and if you see a kind of darkness come over the starboard side, well, no...oof...ah, no problem."

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

Off to an Early Appointment this morning.

Back full strength tomorrow with the customary complaints, brick-a-bats, witticisms and favorite tunes.

In the meantime...

May he rest in peace...Gene Kiniski.

There was a time when, if you were a Canadian and you followed sports or entertainment, you had a pretty good handle on World Heavyweight Wrestling champ, Gene Kiniski.

This was around the same time that, if you were growing up in certain towns like Edmonton or Winnipeg, then half your friends were either Ukrainian or Polish and football players had names like Bronco Negurski.

During my late teens, I had one friend named Nick Olynick and another named Nick Olyarnick.
Olynick was short and dark; Olyarnick was tall and blond. Both were drop dead funny and huge laughers.

Kiniski the wrestling pro was fierce and fun.

Some Talent

As I was saying...

On Sunday, when I wrote in this space about the remote and horrifying possibility that one of the worst mayors in Vancouver's shoddy history of bad mayors might be considered for the "job" of Governor General, Bill Tieleman gave me advance warning thar he would have a piece on the same subject this week.

He has and it's a juicy little humdinger.

He spells out in considerable detail exactly why this is a truly dreadful and inappropriate idea.

Read it here.

Out of Order

The New Democrats sought yesterday to use Question Period to ask Premier Gordon Campbell whether he was aware of the “smear campaign” at the time, but their questions were ruled out of order because of the current RCMP investigation into the affair.

That may be strictly correct.

But what is truly out of order is the entire stench emanating from a pile of truly ugly election pamphlets that SOMEONE was sending to Chinese voters before the last provincial election.

Kash Heed, who was elected by a narrow margin, in the targeted district, has stepped down pending the outcome of the RCMP investigation.

But if this happened on his watch and on his behalf - even without his knowledge - he may have to step down permanently.

And what about the grease balls who created this slime?

And who sanctioned the whole operation?

And who knew about it?

Access Denied

The federal Information Commissioner has rated a raft of agencies (Justice, Citizenship, Revenue, Corrections and the like) on their transparency.

Their willingness to open their little hearts and minds and share the basic info.

Needles to say most of these public services failed miserably.

Secrecy and obfuscation are their mantras and their middle names.

We don't even know why the Happy Sociopaths are in the news every day this week. What did she actually do? What did he do? Sure, they're creepy, but what did they actually do? Harper won't tell us and the Ethics Commissioner won't investigate. Why? (Collective shrug.) Who knows?

Welcome to (sshhhhh...) Canada.

Meanwhile the Supreme Court has been secretly arguing amongst its very perfect self on the whole issue of government access.

Hey, what's 16 months between friends?

Gulag, anyone?