PICK YOURSELF UP, Take Two

CRIMES AGAINST THE PUBLIC

Some simple facts for the jury to consider.

One-fifth of Vancouver traffic can usually be found on the Patullo Bridge. Not today, of course.

With the bridge out of commission, the Board of Trade estimates a $2 Billion annual loss in biz.

Telus is telling 2,000 of its employees to stay at home and log on.

Dianne Watts is telling Surrey employees to work funny hours.

One Premier after another has had 40 years to consider replacing this barely standing joke. No one has even come close.

Can you say, "Malfeasance, Boys and Girls? Incompetence? Willing Blindness?"

MAY I SEE THE MANAGER, PLEASE?

Vancouver City Hall will "take over" the Olympic Village.

Vancouver will issue special Olympic municipal bonds.

Some of you will actually buy these things.

Won't this all be fun!

Selling Your Soul for a Mess of Pottage/Portage/Porridge

Mama Malaika's Snake Oil Serum - known otherwise as Cold-fX - is now an official Olympic sponsor.

Hahahahahahaha...

This is a case study in How to Degrade Your Brand by Associating with Garbage.

The target sponsorship budget for the Games is $760 Million.

The utterly unproven Cold-fX is contributing $3 Million to become the Official Cold & Flu Remedy.

Has VANOC ever considered the word, "No?"

THE ANTI-DEMOCRACY

The City of Vancouver has now become the head of the Anti-Democratic Movement.

Wanting desperately for all of us stupid annoying citizens with apparent minds of our own to "stay on message" during the BIG EVENT next winter, the City wants the right to remove signs and graffiti and billboards from private property AT ONCE and with no court order or grace period.

I guess this is what happens to otherwise reasonable men and women when they find a shard of power.

In this case, the closet Fascist is one Paul Henderson, director of Olympic operations for the City. He says these extraordinary powers are "required because of the need to act quickly during the limited time line of the Games."

He also wants new powers to put up huge Olympic images...huge, as in building-sized.

Keep in mind this is the same city that fought tooth and nail a group of home owners in the Lee Building at Main & Broadway because the building had a large billboard on their roof.

So...

Consider the meaning of this effort.

You must not disapprove of the Olympics. You must not voice that disapproval. You must not put a sign in your own front yard that doesn't SING THE COMPANY SONG.

The majority must rule.

The commonly held opinion must prevail.

O.K. Vision Council speak up.

Where are you on this detestable, dangerous attempt to suspend the central notions of democracy all for a downhill luge?

BURNED

Police are searching for at least three homeless people they believe may know how the Patullo Bridge was set on fire.

Are they kidding?

This local disaster, which has completely screwed up traffic in Surrey and New Westminster beyond endurance, is going to be blamed on the homeless and their pathetic attempt to not freeze to death?

A bridge made of wooden supports in the year 2009?

Where are we, Madison County, Maine, Connecticut, 1873?

Let's get serious for just one minute.

I have lived here for over 40 years. I have crossed that relic exactly twice. That was enough to convince me that, short of some national emergency, I would not find myself on that antique again.

Every provincial government for the past 40 years has had the opportunity to replace this Lego toy with a real bridge, or two.

None has acted.

I am sorry that the thing didn't burn utterly to a cinder.

That would have forced Monumental Gord to take his eye off the multi-million dollar 12-day superhighway to Whistler and build something that was actually useful and important to several hundred thousand tax-paying citizens.

Remember them?

OPENING ACT

The following text is taken from the Crooks and Liars website. It explains more fully the video below.

As we watch history unfolding before our eyes, one more anniversary: It was almost seventy years ago, on Easter Sunday in 1939, that more than 75,000 people come to the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., to hear famed African-American contralto Marian Anderson give a free open-air concert.

Anderson had been scheduled to sing at Washington's Constitution Hall, but the Daughters of the American Revolution, a political organization that helped manage the concert hall, denied her the right to perform because of her race. The first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt, resigned her membership from the organization in protest, and Anderson's alternate performance at the Lincoln Memorial served greatly to raise awareness of the problem of racial discrimination in America.

SIGNS ALONG THE ROAD

STOLEN RIVERS

Subject: Real eye opener about B.C Rivers

This is a must-see video....there is a shortened version just below the video picture. Send it to
as many people as you can as so very much has been kept a secret by the government! ...

This is the future for all the generations to come. Look at the power
bills that people pay in most provinces.....and ours, probably, will be set to what Californians are
paying.

http://ashlu.info:80/video/bcrivers.html

REALITY CHECK

Subject: Gun manufacturing in Pakistan Boondocks

This is a real eye opener.................

See the largest gun market in the world!

Just what you need to sleep better tonight..... It takes about 5 min. to watch this, but it is worth the time. http://www.vbs.tv/full_screen.php?s=DGFE2305DC&sc=1363196

BUILD A NEW BRIDGE PLEASE

What sorry backbenchers have represented the derelict and under served communities that have been so badly serviced lo these many years by the Patullo Bridge?

With all the wing-nut highway building projects that have come and gone in this corrupt province, with all the cry for all the years to replace this dangerous relic, why has it never been done?

Now that the old thing has been crippled once again, this time by a fire no less, commuters are being told to be patient.

Kevin, Big Bridge Builder, Falcon stands by with a sorrowful look. Oscar material, for sure.

Shame on these people - provincial governments of the past 20 years - and shame on those of you who still harbor the cranky illusion that the current gang has your best interests at heart.

HE WOULD BE 80 TODAY- HERE IS THE SPEECH IN ITS ENTIRETY

HOW CANADIAN MEN HELP THE ECONOMY

A friend asked the other day about Canada's population.

I explained that we depend on immigration to build our numbers here.

"Why?" he asked.

Because we are reproducing at a rate insufficient to help, Andorra, Lichtenstein or Monaco.

"Why is that?"

Because Canadian men are watching hockey on television.

There is an "up" side to this, however.

Canadian women, suffering beyond endurance, run to the love shops to invest heavily in sex toys.

Now, while it is true that most of these aids are built (batteries not included) in China, they are sold right here in Canada.

And that helps the economy.

Class is over, boys & girls, thank you for your attention.

Uh...except for Bert back there. I see you're listening to your MP3 or iPod or whatever. So, what's the score?

FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT?

Richard Pryor, the undisputed genius of comedy, many, many years ago "became" the President of the United States.

In this sketch he stretches the complexities and the possibilities.

Very funny, very timely.

Watch it build from decorum to....?

http://www.obamapride.net/richardpryorthepresident.htm

RAY - AMERICA, THE BEAUTIFUL

THE DEFINITION OF SPIN

"We have to do everything we can to secure jobs for people,"

From this moment on (he sang), whenever you want to find the meaning of "politcal spin," you will find this as the prime example.

"This" is Premier Gordon Campbell explaining the late night weekend "emergency" vote that will allow the City of Vancouver to move to Debtor's Prison.

"secure jobs for people.."

The man's cynicism about the intelligence of the citizenry is breathtaking.

This is about the Olympics, it's about covering ass, it's about good and bad deals, and mostly it's about using this moment in tiny-minded local history to change the rules permanently to allow god-knows-what financial collusions in the future.

As for the current project, now running at $1.1 Billion and counting, the Village was first touted as foolproof. To be foolproof you'd have to start without fools. Ooops...

The risk to city taxpayers? None. Or so they were promised three years ago, when City of Vancouver staff announced details of the Olympic Village plan.

Excllent work, folks.

As for the Weekend Prom at the Legislature, all that was missing was bears and a ferris wheel.

Memorial

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include: 1. The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction. 2. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything. 3. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up. 4. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in. 5. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out. 6. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find. 7. The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling. 8. The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy. 9. The Economy Room, which is in the toilet. 10. The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.) 11. The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery. 12. The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty. 13. The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election. 14. The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators. 15. The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws. The library will also include many famous quotes by George W.Bush: 1. 'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.' 2. 'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.' 3. 'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.' 4. 'No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.' 5. 'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.' 6. 'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.' 7. 'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.' 8. 'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.' 9. 'The future will be better tomorrow.' 10. 'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world..' 11. 'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.' (during an education photo-op) 12. 'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.' 13. 'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.' 14. 'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.' 15. 'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'...

VILLAGE IDIOTS - A Tale Told by Lies, Augmented by Obfuscation and Capped with Dissembling

"It's not a blank cheque."

Hahahaha...

Remember those words.

They come from Premier Gordon Campbell and they refer, of course, to the ramrod job he intends this weekend to change the Vancouver Charter to allow the City to borrow scads and scads of money to clean up the Olympic Village fiasco.

You should remember these words because in the coming years, as Vancouver sinks into the same habit as you and I have with our Visa cards, the City will become the King, Queen and Joker of Deficit Financing.

First of all, a change of this kind, a negative undertaking of this kind, is by current law, supposed to be put to public referendum.

But that's what governments do. When they don't like the rules, they change them.

As if you no longer appreciate your spouse and change the rules so a little arsenic in the corn flakes would no longer be considered homicide.

Opposition House Leader, Adrian Dix, has added that a no discussion vote in the Legislature today is a no go. He has declared this unacceptable and intends to push for a full argument.

Good luck with all of that, Adrian.

Note also that the wording of the suggested change to the City Charter calls for "unlimited borrowing powers."

Yes, be alarmed.

If you are not, you are as big a rube and sucker than the city council that signed us all in for this deal in the first place.

Financial writer, David Baines, writing in the Sun today echoes what I said here yesterday. He just says it better and in more detail.

Olympic village on shaky ground from start

City politicians and staff failed to ensure the project had sound financing from the outset

Dazzled by bigger numbers from the less solid Millenium, Council ignored good offers from two more accomplished players.

Meanwhile back at the optometrist, in the rose-colored glasses aisle, former Mayor Philip Owen is begging everyone to stop being so negative and realize what a joy this really is.

Thanks, Phil.

What can we do when the tab shows up on our property tax assessments? Or the new One Way Street Tax or Parking on a Residential Street for More than 12 Minutes Tax or whatever scam will be used to recover from this sinkhole?

Can we say, "Sorry. You voted for this in secret and we weren't consulted?"

Can we get Phil to pay for us?

Can we get a blank cheque from Gord?

The punch line is this.

You and I will pay for the Jamaican bobsled team to share marble counters for 10 days and for off-shore clients to pay the highest square-foot costs in history for condos they will occupy 3 days a year.

Nice.

Ignored Tragedies

This morning as I was reading the paper and finding between the Inauguration and the Miracle on the Hudson article after article about Gaza, Gaza and more Gaza, I found myself muttering about Zimbabwe.

Not that Gaza is nothing or unimportant or not horrible.

But why do we often not see focus on the 102 other hells on earth?

Therefore, I was surprised and pleased to see Bob Herbert, who usually writes on domestic issues, tackling this very subject in this morning's NY Times.

The piece is called "Zimbabwe Is Dying," and I encourage you to read it.

Then, we might ask ourselves how the UN and other ineffective busybodies have stood by and allowed Mugabe to rape and destroy his own country for the past - what, 37? - years.

Would that this truism were not so, but it is: Everything is political.

HUDSON LANDING - WOW!

In the good old days before 9-11 made such things impossible, I had the great good fortune to spend many, many hours in the cockpits of jetliners on long overseas flights.

I was consistently impressed with the pilots and engineers. To a man, they were very, very smart, funny, interested in practically everything, outspoken, straight ahead in their expression and steely calm and clear about what they were doing.

It is apparently a standing mantra amongst such people that long-haul jet flights can best be described as "20 seconds of sheer, white knuckle terror, followed by 10 hours of excruciating boredom, followed by 20 seconds of sheer, white knuckle terror."

If that wasn't clear, what they are saying is that modern jet travel consists of the major scares of take-off and landing, interrupted by the numbing many hours of auto-pilot and checking that you are successfully flying from designated and assigned point A to B to C and pretty much through the alphabet.

What US Airways Captain Sully Sullenberger managed to do landing that bird in the Hudson without a single fatality is exactly what one would expect of a guy like him -flying since he was 17 and a consultant on risk management and safety - yet, we can join the chorus around the world in safely calling him a hero.

Just plain WOW!