BAGS

Canadians are feeling ashamed to be Canadian.

Apparently, Copenhagen and Afghan detainees are spurring on a recent fit of self-loathing.

Not me.

I am happy to be Canadian.

While this is not the best of all possible worlds, it is pretty darn good in most ways.

A strange absence of mortal shells zinging over head is a good start.

Then there's our universal health care and our glorious physical beauty and warm and friendly neighbourliness - everywhere except Vancouver, of course.

That goes without saying.

Or saying very loudly.

In public.

O.K.

But this morning there is one thing that made me feel downright queasy about being Canadian.

It's that full-page ad in the morning paper from Roots.

Many, many, many leather goods - bags, wallets, purses, pouches - all adorned with the Canadian flag.

There is something creepy about this kind of cheap and phony patriotism.

How does putting the national flag on a shoulder bag make me or you or the shoulder bag any more attractive or superior or pious?

Can I start selling products stitched with the Maple Leaf on them, or is this an exclusive deal for the Roots people?

From whence comes this special dispensation?

And why?

99% of everything we wear in Canada is made in China.

Does Roots get flags because it is the rare exception?

Are Roots products secretly made you know where?

If you are carrying such a bag, please don't stop and say Hello.

In any event, I live in Vancouver and I don't know how to say Hello back.

What Price is Right?

Privatization.

Wanna start a good fight in a bar?

There's a word that'll get the fists flying.

The Ontario government is considering turning over to the private sector their Hydro, Gaming and Liquor exclusives.

And this is not mere conjecture.

They have asked two major banks for assistance in this initiative.

This matter always seems to bring out the North and South in us all.

Turning government crown corporations over to the wheelhouses of the free market is always the best idea or the worst evil imaginable.

But I don't settle in either of those camps.

I would prefer governments to NOT be in many businesses IF AND ONLY IF they ever bothered to provide some safeguards and protections for the public good during the dumping process.

Did the Campbell government do that with B.C. Ferries?

I don't think so.

Was the sale of BC Rail a good clean kosher deal?

If the Basi-Virk trial ever begins or ends, we might find out.

The Globe has written an excellent editorial this morning on exactly this dilemma.

"As governments assess which services they should and should not provide, they need to decide when owning a company is in the public interest. A sale may make sense if it can satisfy four conditions: It should give the government an immediate upfront cash benefit; it should allow the public to continue to share in the profit the company makes; it should preserve the priority of the public good; and it should not harm vital public-policy interests."

All of this, is, of course, sound theory.

Practice is so very different, isn't it?

We Are Safe

“We have all the manuals, but we haven't had the opportunity to do the training.”

Thus spake Oak Bay Police Chief Ron Gaudet two years after Peter Lee murdered his family in the good chief's jurisdiction.

But not to worry.

The chief's all over it.

Chief Gaudet promised his members will complete a mandatory, one-day online training program by next spring.

Let's pause a moment and think about that.

The police in leafy old Oak Bay, B.C. by the Sea have had two years to get their act together long enough to do a one-day training course on domestic violence.

Think about that phrase.

A one-day training course on domestic violence.

Oh yes, that'll really bring everyone up to speed.

Now look again at the description of this potential life-saver.

Not only is it all of one day, but it is...wait for it...online!

Yes, indeed.

You can really get a feel for the subtleties of human interactions from an ONEFFINGLINE course on domestic violence.

Then, when all of these treasures are considered, consider this.

The police in the Lee case had asked the Crown to hold Mr. Lee after he'd already almost killed his wife.

But it was the Crown who saw fit to let this time bomb out on bail.

Will the Freuds and Jungs down at Crown Counsel be taking this one day on line course too?

Oh, we are in good hands all right.

Equity

Jim Sinclair, the President of the B.C. Federation of Labour is a good friend.

Once again, Sinclair has called for a $10 minimum wage.

Quebec just raised its minimum to $9.50.

Ours has been frozen at $8 since 2001.

As you all know, not much has changed in the world economy since then.

Right.

Oh.

Except for Premier Gordon Campbell's take home.

It's only gone up more than 100%.

New Bird in the Sky

Carbon laminates.

Carbon sandwich.

Titanium.

Not only that but it carries 270 people, has larger tinted windows and costs one-third less to operate (read burn fuel) than previous conventional aluminum bodied jetliners.

Which is why the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner is being hailed as "a game changer."

While the Punch 'n Judy Show is holding every one's attention in Copenhagen, scientists and engineers have been doing at least one right thing about reducing some one's "footprint."

I admit it.

I am an airplane nut.

And I am excited to see this baby being released for public viewing.

Although two years late in being brought forth, it is expected to be in full production and on your flight schedules within the year.

I can't wait.

Get Serious

I don't care who built that thing beside the Burrard Street Bridge.

It is ugly and visually offensive.

If it was built by Chassidic Rabbis, Scottish railroad barons, Chinese labourers or land owners, retired show business executives or my Aunt Tilly, it sucks big time.

I drove over the Bridge twice yesterday and twice I was almost shocked by the billboard's aesthetic incongruity.

This perfectly Vancouver scene of rain and grey skies and English Bay and some bare trees and the occasional apartment block suddenly banged into the background by REDS AND BLUES IN ELECTRONIC TECHNOWARP.

Baaaaaaaaad move, folks.

By the way, no file photo that I can find to date does this desecration justice.

I may have to go take my own pic and show it to those of you who have opinions based on theory and not on seeing the full enormity of this garbage.

Traitor

I have a Rabbi friend who really likes Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman.

He feels that Lieberman is an orthodox Jew who is committed to his faith.

That may or may not be so.

But in my books the good senator, an Independent who sits with the Democrats and who seems to change his values as often as Jerry Lewis changes his socks, is a poseur and an unprincipled camera-hogging turncoat.

His latest stunt of almost killing the President's health care reform bill has been disgusting to witness.

Of all things, he has been resisting the "public option" clause.

Yes, god forbid that the 45 million uninsured Americans could have a medical plan like we have in Canada or others have in Sweden, Denmark, France and the U.K.

Once again, to get his whiny kvetchy voice on the air, Lieberman has played cheap political games with people's lives at stake.

Pick a party, Joe.

Pick an idea.

Try sticking with it for longer than lunch.

Caring? Not Much

Victoria police were so concerned that Peter Lee would be a danger to his family that they met with Crown counsel to ask that he be denied bail.

Of course, the Crown knew better than the police.

Lee was released on bail and promptly butchered his entire family including his young son.

On Sept. 6, 2007, Peter Lee, 38, killed his estranged wife, Sunny Park, their son Christian, 6, and Park's elderly parents before committing suicide.

Now, as a coroner's inquest continues into this case, the simple truth emerges and is driven home -

No budget for domestic violence, Peter Lee inquest told

System could respond better, but only with more funding, probe into Oak Bay slayings hears

But we have our priorities.

Yesterday morning I pulled over to park in the 500 block East Broadway.

The new temporary signs are already up.

NO PARKING

February 4 - March 2

Huh?

Broadway and Fraser?

This is a major corridor to a Games event?

O.K.

Whatever.

In the meantime...

We have no budget for domestic violence.

All of which will of course evaporate in the swill of happiness and euphoria that descends upon us all from the glories of THE GAMES.

Family discord will come to an end.

Marital disputes will resolve spontaneously.

Peace on earth will prevail.

Right after the luge.

For What?

I suppose with all the bad economic turns in the journalism game not many reporters are flying these days.

How else to explain the "news" that senators and MP's fly business class a lot?

I routinely file past government freeloaders with their heavy black legal cases on the empty leather seat beside them as I head to the back of the plane for my apple box and cookie.

The good news is that I can usually find a chiropractor wherever I'm going to help scrunch the flight out of my bones.

On the other hand...

What is really news - and we have to ask why isn't it on the front page? - is that the Senate has quietly voted itself another travel perk.

Free international flights!

Liberal senator Lillian Dyck (write your own jokes, please) went to China last month on your money to visit her family's ancestral home.

I am feeling warm and cozy for her.

Now get this.

MPs and senators alike are each allotted 64 travel points a year, each point representing one free round-trip flight. They're allowed to use up to four points to visit Washington, but the rest are to be used strictly within Canada.

That would mean that Larry Campbell can fly free 64 times across the dominion.

Free, as in you pay for his privilege.

The senate should not be elected.

It should be closed down.

A start

Old bad joke:

What do you call 45 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

So the news that Transclunk has dumped 3 of their 28 highly well compensated executives is just that - a good start.

A headline like this every morning...

TransLink announces last stop for three well-paid VPs

Execs turfed after watchdog's critical report on spending

might make for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lord, will miracles never cease?

Will the day come to pass when the turnstiles are finally installed and people actually have to PAY FOR their rides?

Now, let's look forward to seeing the City drop entire departments and stick to some core activities that have something to do with civic responsibility.

Jungle bells, jingle bells...

Letter to a Friend About Hope & Cagney

These were two great creative performing geniuses.

There is almost nothing they could not do.

Cagney's performance as George M. Cohan in "Yankee Doodle Dandy" is absolutely in every way possible beautiful and unforgettable. The moment of his father's death is heartbreaking.

I was thinking about the range of people like this when I was watching a few scenes from "Whit Christmas" last night.

Danny Kaye, known of course as a great comic and song-and-dance man was so powerful in a made-for-TV movie that came out in the '80's. Based on a real life story, the movie is called "Skokie" and it is about a Jewish man who protests a neo-Nazi march in suburban Chicago in modern times. Slowly he reveals that he is a concentration camp survivor. The film and Kaye are devastating.

So many people cheered when the "studio system" was dismantled, but it was the studio system of teaching and learning and covering all bases that allowed already gifted people to shine even brighter as they polished one skill after another.

We had a small taste of that right here on Hamilton Street when the CBC was cooking on all cylinders.

Of course, we will always have great performers emerging to the front lines, but I doubt that we will ever again see the likes of such triple-threat stars as Hope and Cagney, Crosby, Sinatra, Garland, Mickey Rooney. I saw Rooney on stage in "Sugar Babies" with Ann Miller in San Fransisco about 25 years ago. Rooney was an encyclopedia of performance art.

Two Performance Geniuses at Play

Big Bad Wolf

Big Pharma - along with armaments, oil and illegal drugs, one of the biggest businesses in the world - has much to answer for.

Not the last of which is running its affairs often by bribe and collusion.

In pharmacies across Canada, the giant pharmaceuticals compete by paying pharmacies large rebates to stock their products. As a result, the biggest cost to manufacturers isn't manufacturing – it's paying those rebates, the cost of which is passed along to the consumer and pushes up the price of prescriptions.

Generics, while cheaper, are often harder to come by precisely because of the legal and not so legal tactics of the big name-brand manufacturers.

In short, our high and higher and higher cost of health care in this country is powerfully affected - some would say controlled - by private, corpoarte special interests.

The Ontario Premier, Dalton McGuinty is setting out to fight these good folk.

We wish him well and ask when the other leaders across the country will step into the fray and show some real commitment to holding the line on costs.

Cutting seniors' care and MRI availabilities is not the way to go.

Son of a Friend Covers Dylan

Eyesore, Plain and Simple

One cannot argue with the self-evident and urgent need for aboriginal people to get a leg up wherever reasonable and possible.

And it is particularly encouraging to see native groups creating economic opportunities that are based on sound business models.

But, please.

The new electric billboard built by the Squamish Nation at the south foot of the Burrard Bridge is a bad idea badly executed.

It is big and flashy.

And it is flat ugly.

All over town local governments have actively discouraged bill boarding.

Our late good friend Larry Zelmer fought for years to maintain the billboard high atop the Lee Building at Main and Broadway.

He lost.

That sign was barely visible except to anyone but the cormorants compared to the garish glare of this new distraction amidst the trees and mountain and water views off the Burrard Bridge.

This is reverse discrimination of the most offensive kind.

Why this group and no others?

No doubt there are many great ways for the Squamish Nation to develop business opportunities that will serve everyone well.

This is not one of them.

Smoooooooth...

Comfort in the Cold

Names

B.C. has renamed the Queen Charlotte Islands.

The new name is Haida Gwaii.

This is fine with me.

But I admit I am a little nervous that sooner or later, someone will figure out that Captain Vancouver was sailing the ship "Tiger Woods," and may not have been the best fellow after whom cities should be named.

The only thing is will I ever learn how to say 'lyxwuwuwhakqulatchi-;ploutz?

Arrested Development

When will the border patrols, U.S. and Canadian, figure out the difference between vocal protesters and terrorists?

The latter are quiet and sneaky and under cover. They don't want you to know them until after the bomb goes off.

The protesters are right out there.

When will the border patrols, both sides, understand that protest and dissent are a central part of what makes a modern liberal democracy superior to fascism and its many cousins?

Or is all of this too much to ask of people who are "just doing their jobs?"

Olympic critic denied entry to U.S.; says she was interrogated for hours

Marla Renn was heading south to speak at anti-Olympic events

Oy.

Qualifications

Gary Mason, always readable, has contributed an interesting piece this morning about Carole Taylor possibly being the replacement for His Meanness.

With alternatives like Rich Coleman and Kevin Falcon, two bulldozers cut from the same cruel cloth as the Preem, you bet!

Mason offers that Taylor is the kind of fiscal conservative that the corporate community loves. He adds that "she was also seen as a left leaning democrat on social justice issues."

I resist these kinds of categorizations.

For my money, it' simply this.

Carole Taylor is blessed with a drop or two of the milk of human kindness.

Which makes her distinctly different from the current Iceman in charge, who most days seems by his decisions and his priorities to lack even something approaching decency.